Counseling for Live In Relationship

A live in relationship is a living arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long- term relationship that resembles a marriage. Couples cohabit, rather than marry, for a variety of reasons. They may want to test their compatibility before they commit to alegal union. They may want to maintain their single status for financial reasons. In some cases, such as those involving gay/ lesbian couples, or individuals already married to another person, the law does not allow them to marry. In other cases, the partners may feel that marriage is unnecessary. The union of two persons that is formally recognized by law is known as marriage. It is a formal commitment between the couple. On the other hand, live in relationship refers to a kind of an arrangement where a couple decides to live together as if married. This kind of relationship is generally not legal or religiously sectioned.

Live in Relationship is a kind of arrangement where a couple decide to live together. It still maintains the single status of the couple. The arrangement is quite similar to a marriage except the type of recognition. In many societies, a live in relationship is not socially accepted as the privilege is only associated with the marriage. Most of the couples prefer this arrangement as this is a way to test the compatibility. 

Concerns about pre-marital cohabitation may be legit. Substantial evidence associates cohabitation with negative relationship outcomes. Pre-marital cohabitation is viewed as a risk factor for divorce as it predicts later marital instability, poorer marriage quality, and less relationship satisfaction. 

Compared to married couples, cohabiting couples argue more, have more trouble resolving conflicts, are more insecure about their partners’ feelings, and have more problems related to their future goals.

This is important to know Why Do People Cohabitate before Marriage? Unmarried couples have very different motivations for living together. For most people, the number one reason to cohabitate is quite positive: they want to spend more time with the person they’re dating. Others cite that cohabitation makes financial sense, that they want to test out the relationship, or that they don’t believe in the institute of marriage. Cohabitating out of convenience (i.e., expired leases; financial sense) or to test a relationship can lead to problems. 

The Inertia Effect plays a key role. Cohabitation is recognized as a strong predictor of marriage, in part because of the inertia effect. Once a couple cohabitates, a momentum towards marriage begins and it’s more difficult to break up because of the greater investment. The inertia effect is problematic when it drives a couple that would otherwise not have married, to become married. Maybe this is why married men who cohabited before marriage are less dedicated to their wives than married men who did not first cohabitate. The inertia effect is only relevant to cohabiters who are not already engaged prior to cohabitation. Compared to those who are engaged before living together, those who aren’t are less satisfied in the relationships, report less relationship dedication, and less relationship confidence. Interestingly, both engaged and non-engaged cohabiting couples tend to report less relationship dedication, less relationship confidence, and more negative communication compared to those who wait to live together until marriage.

It’s hard to imagine that the relationship troubles associated with living together before marriage are universal for all cohabitating couples. 

The categories of cohabiters are: Incongruent engaged cohabiters described as couples who are engaged but in disagreement over how quickly they’re moving towards marriage. Engaged cohabiters moving fast are cohabiters engaged and in agreement that they are on the fast track towards marriage. Engaged cohabiters moving slow may be engaged, but they agree they are not moving quickly towards a wedding day. Incongruent non-engaged cohabiters individuals are not engaged and they differ in their views on the relationship’s future, i.e., if and when they will get married. Non-engaged cohabiters without marital plans as the name suggests, this group of cohabiters are in agreement that they have no plans in the work for marriage and do not necessary view cohabitation as a path towards marriage. 

Counseling falls under the umbrella term ‘talking therapies’ and allows people to discuss their problems and any difficult feelings they encounter in a safe, confidential environment. The term can mean different things to different people, but in general it is a process people seek when they want to change something in their lives or simply explore their thoughts and feelings in more depth. A counselor is not there to sit us down and tell what to do - instead they encourage us to talk about what's bothering us in order to uncover any root causes and identify our specific ways of thinking. The counselor may then look to create a plan of action to either help reconcile our issues or help us to find ways of coping. The counselor can help in live in relationships by changing the views of the relationship.  

Throughout the therapeutic process, the therapist attempts to help both partners see the relationship in a more objective manner.  They learn to stop the "blame game" and instead look at what happens to them as a process involving each partner. Counselor can modify dysfunctional behavior. Effective couples therapists attempt to change the way that the partners actually behave with each other. This means that in addition to helping them improve their interactions, therapists also need to ensure that their clients are not engaging in actions that can cause physical, psychological, or economic harm. A counselor may Decrease emotional avoidance.  Couples who avoid expressing their private feelings put themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and hence grow apart. Effective couple’s therapists help their clients bring out the emotions and thoughts that they fear expressing to the other person. Attachment-based couples’ therapy allows the partners to feel less afraid of expressing their needs for closeness.  

A counselor improves communication. All effective couples’ therapies focus on helping the partners to communicate more effectively. Couples may require "coaching" to learn how to speak to each other in more supportive and understanding ways.  The therapist may also provide the couple with didactic instruction to give them the basis for knowing what types of communication are effective and what types will only cause more conflict.  They can learn how to listen more actively and empathically, for example. The counselor promote strengths. Effective couples’ therapists point out the strengths in the relationship and build resilience particularly as therapy nears a close.  Because so much of couples’ therapy involves focusing on problem areas, it's easy to lose sight of the other areas in which couples function effectively. The point of promoting strength is to help the couple derive more enjoyment out of their relationship.  Counseling helps people in troubled relationships by demonstrating that there is no need to give up in despair if the situation seems bleak. Similarly, people afraid of entering long-term relationships can be encouraged by learning that troubled relationships can be fixed. 

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For more details on best service relationship therapy and relationship therapist in New Delhi India or Online Distance Treatment, visit:

Dr S K Sharma

Ethos Healthcare
T 12, Green Park Extension,
New Delhi 110016. India.
Ph: +91-11-46026700, +91-11-26164016
Cell/Whatsapp - +91-9810155920

www.ethosmindclinic.com

 and

www.ethosrelationshiptherapyclinic.com

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